This is snow laughing matter!

Today, everyone here in the Midwest seems to be preparing for what we have lovingly termed “Snowmageddon”. We’re supposed to get over two feet of snow in about a 12 hour span of time. The grocery stores are packed, even though there’s hardly anything left on the shelves. The plows are ready and waiting. This is some Y2K level snow we’re talking about here. 2012 has nothing on this. Or something…

Everyone seems to be planning on staying home. My mom is talking about a “Shoveling Party” at my house, because our driveway is so long. I’m not sure how she plans to make the drive to my house to do that though. My dad is pretty much planning to spend the next 12 hours with his snow blower. I hope they get along well. The Other Half is envisioning getting snowed in, and spending the day with a book (or 3) and a cup of tea (or 13). I have two images in my head.

Image #1: I’m running. No, I think “hauling ass” would be a better description. So, I’m hauling ass as fast as I can, with a huge cloud hovering just behind me. Death snow. There is a wall of white falling from the sky…not in individual flakes, but just one giant sheet of snow-type-material. And it’s chasing me. Not just coincidently behind me, but actually, actively chasing me. With intent. It’s going to get me. And so I’m running. “Snowmageddon! Run! Run like hell!” And everyone around me is running too. “It’s gonna get us! Noooooo….”

This image is absolutely hysterical in my head. I’m actually laughing out loud right now. That’s what I feel like people are thinking this is going to be. Don’t get me wrong, I realize that this is going to be some pretty intense weather and all. But really, this isn’t the end of the Mayan calendar. It’s just snow. Come on people, we live in Chicago! Since when are we surprised by weather?

Image #2: We’re snowed in. Seeing as we’re supposed to have 35mph winds and 5-10 foot drifts, we’re stuck. In my head, I finally manage to crawl out the front window (because I can’t push the door open), and I slither into a snow pile with my shovel twirling in front of me, like a drill. And in my head, this isn’t a drift. We have about 10 feet of snow. Everywhere. Just a massive chunk of white over everything. I can picture building a system of tunnels, catacomb-style: to my mail box (how mail would be delivered is irrelevant), to the garage (for no real reason, seeing as I can’t get the car out anyway), and down the street to the grocery store (we’ll just pretend it’s open). This image isn’t so much funny as it is fun. Can you imagine all of these extensive snow-hallways? Wouldn’t it be great?

I revert back to being 8 years old when it snows. I feel the need to run and slide and fall. I love watching it. I love how quiet it makes everything. And right now, I love the idea of having a day or two off from work and school, and being trapped in my house with The Other Half and our other roomie/sister. Sounds perfect. Snowmageddon, here we come!